How can I be happy?

From one perspective, you could say that having a lot of money can make it easier to be happy. You don’t have to worry about whether you can afford something. Everyday concerns like bills, providing for your children’s future, or running a car so you can get to work are non-existent. You can treat yourself to ‘luxuries’: an expensive gym and spa membership, weekends away with friends, a couture handbag or designer trainers. But all these things are exactly that... ‘things’, material goods bought to make you feel happy, even for a moment.

You could also say that people who genuinely believe money will make them happy think they will be unhappy if they don't have it. They’re 'money = happiness people'. Looking at ‘happiness’ through their lens, you can understand the thinking behind their association between money and happiness. However, if that were the case, surely the more money they have, the happier they would be. This would make the happiest person in the world the wealthiest person in the world.

Money is like a drug for people with this mindset. All the material goods, the handbags, and the trainers are all part of the drug. When people take drugs, the vast majority do so to escape from their reality. They want to escape to a world where everything feels fantastic. They want to laugh and feel happiness, but it’s not real; it’s a temporary state of mind that your brain makes you think is true.

When money = happiness people have lots of money or buy something new, they feel a rush of happiness. For that moment in time, life feels amazing. When the money is gone, or the latest ‘thing’ becomes old news, they can hit an all-time low. Like people who take drugs, the more they take, the more they need and want to get that feeling again. It’s the same with money = happiness people.....they go from wanting £10,000 to £100,000 to £1,000,000.

It goes on and on...

Then we have the bingers. Have you ever heard of retail therapy? It’s exactly how it sounds, ‘shopping to make yourself feel happy”. People use shopping as therapy when they’re feeling unhappy. They buy items to make themselves feel better, and it works! Unfortunately, the shopping trip ends, the bags are emptied, and they're left feeling equally empty. People who use money like this - to try and fill a happiness void – are at high risk of debt problems.

By exploring the relationship between money and happiness in this way, it becomes clear that money isn’t the source of happiness.

Let’s take it further and look at how money connects with happiness and relationships.

There was once a woman who believed so strongly that money would bring her happiness that she was willing to spend her life in a relationship, unsure if she was truly happy.

When she and her partner first started dating, he pulled out all the peacock moves, taking her to Michelin-star restaurants, showing off with an expensive car, buying her expensive gifts and treating her to luxurious weekend breaks.

However, it didn’t last forever. As time passed, cracks started forming in the relationship, and as the proper foundations weren’t there, she decided to leave him.

The man was very wealthy and believed he could only make his partner happy by showering her with gifts.

Happiness in a relationship should not be based on a bank balance. The same woman ended up in a relationship with someone who had far less and felt happier than she had in her previous relationship. She realised that the relationship and money were not making her happy. She had to experience it to realise that money couldn't bring her happiness.